Most parents view custody cases similar to going to war. They need to round up the troops and set up their weapons so that they can win the battle. But should a custody case become a custody battle?
In the court system, the judges will always prioritize what is in the best interest of the children. And for most kids, they need both parents in their lives. So, it’s up to the parents to turn a nasty custody battle into a peaceful arrangement among co-parents.
How to work together as co-parents
It’s natural for co-parents to have some conflict surrounding parenting styles, education preferences or scheduling. However, you must maintain a peaceful, cooperative demeanor when it comes to co-parenting (especially in front of your child).
Luckily, there are some ways to avoid conflict while addressing disputes:
- Do not blame your partner – It’s easy to blame your co-parent for any issues in your family. However, when you do that, you are creating distrust in your co-parent and distance between you and your children. Discuss with your co-parent the problems at hand and how to resolve them without placing blame on either parent.
- Use a support network – Both parents should establish a group of people they can rely on for babysitting, advice or general support. It may help to vent with other adults about parenting issues instead of your child. Also, it may give you constructive feedback on how you handle disputes.
- Allow your child to have a healthy relationship with both parents – It sounds easy, but many parents try to be “the fun dad” or “the cool mom.” Instead, focus on being the best parent you can be and allow your child to be close to your partner. It will make your child happier in the long term and make it easier for you to parent.
It may take time to find a routine that allows both parents to be active in their child’s life. However, you can use meditation as a tool to effectively communicate with your co-parent about the custody arrangement or any necessary changes to scheduling.