The signs of abuse before and during a marriage

On Behalf of | Nov 19, 2021 | Divorce

Abuse in a marriage can take many forms. Domestic violence is not always about physical injuries. Abusers are skilled in hiding red flags that include anger, possessiveness, jealousy, and outright controlling behavior. More difficult to conceal is resentment, deceit, and an undeserved superiority complex. Yet, many times, they find a way.

Certain telltale signs exist and include:

Rushing into a relationship

One of the first signs of trouble. When a possible life partner is moving fast in a relationship, they are prone to breach personal boundaries that create discomfort. Simply put, your partner is not showing respect to the pace you want in progressing the partnership.

The blame game

A possible life partner continuously blaming an ex will eventually find a reason to target you for shortcomings. Instead of improving themselves, they revert to their natural state of moral superiority to make you feel bad and allow them to feel better about themselves.

Resentful feelings

Left unchecked or completely unnoticed, resentment can spread like a virus in a partner. Eventually, they lose any sensitivity or empathy to the rights and perspectives that those close to them have.

A sense of entitlement

Entitlement can rear its ugly head when the initial infatuation phase of a relationship ends. Manifestation takes the form of prioritizing their feelings as desires as more important than yours. The consequences of giving in or disagreeing could be depression and the potential future of ongoing abuse.

Superiority complexes

A particularly sinister trait, those who act superior do not want to bring others to what they perceive as their level. Instead, they put down partners to feel better about themselves.

Deceitful behavior

One of the biggest “red flags” is someone who exaggerates everything from intelligence and talents to achievements and powerful friends. Oftentimes, lying becomes a pattern, an alarming sign of their minimal self-respect that could lead to disrespect directed at you.

When being true to yourself represents resentment and abuse, ending a marriage may be your last best hope in ending patterns of abuse and moving on with your life.