The decision to divorce is not characteristically a snap decision. Marriages unravel over the course of several months and years before spouses throw in the towel and pursue marital dissolution.
The signs of a fragmented marriage are subtle and small. Identifying specific indicators is essential to assess the health of the marital relationship.
Over time, partners can and will likely change. They may be less free to share as much as they used to. Laziness may set in, affecting both personal and professional relationships.
Not-so-subtle signals
The “honeymoon period” that includes lengthy and sincere discussions of hopes and dreams only lasts for so long. Vulnerability and a willingness to share are vital in the early stages of a marriage. Yet, over time, complaints to friends and family start what can be a quantum shift in the union. Negativity can result in the psychological distance where the marriage begins to unravel.
Words matter, particularly when it comes to pronouns. “We” changes to “me.” “Ours” becomes “mine.” Essentially, the partner is using the language of a non-married individual, potentially a harbinger of what is going on in their mind. That could be the first step, changing the conversations to superficial matters and potentially exiting the marriage.
Trust turns to mistrust
Trust begins to fray. The simple act of leaving a smartphone in another room can tempt a suspicious spouse who hears a notification pop-up. Giving into temptation to see the message is becoming more common among partners. A recent survey revealed that 60 percent would sneak a peek. The eroding trust may be a predictor of the partnership eroding.
Few divorces happen overnight. The long process of insecurity eventually turns into distrust. Without that sound foundation, divorce may be inevitable, requiring the help of an experienced family law attorney.
