A divorce is the end of a marital relationship but not the parental one. In most cases, parents will need to continue to work together to raise their children even after they finalize the divorce. After they finalize the divorce, the parents and children will likely fall into a routine — but what about those first few months after the parents decide to get a divorce? How do parents start this process of co-parenting?
Although the exact process is different for each family, three tips that generally help to better ensure a smooth transition include the following.
#1: Focus on the children.
You are getting divorced for a reason. There is likely animosity and frustration towards the other parent, and these feelings may be for good reason. Try to set those aside; compartmentalize those feelings when spending time with the children so you can focus your attention on them and what is best for their needs.
#2: Find a way to communicate with the other parent.
If you are concerned that you cannot have civil communications with the other parent in person, find another option. There are lots of alternatives that allow you to communicate without interacting with the other parent. There are shared calendars that allow you keep each other informed of school activities and homework assignments and multiple apps designed for exactly this situation. Review what is available and see what works best for you.
#3: Start making new traditions.
Life is going to be different than it once was, but that is not a bad thing. Start to focus on the positive that can come with this transition by building some new traditions, starting right now. Maybe after you pick up the kids from the other parent to start your time together you have a board game and pizza night, or you go out to a favorite park. Find something you all enjoy and start building good memories.
These first steps are often the most difficult, but as time passes and you finalize your divorce and parenting plan, you will fall into a routine. With a bit of effort, you can better ensure that routine comes with the opportunity to make some memories you will look back on fondly.
